John Stoddart's Life in the Slow Lane
Laugh With John
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
THE CABIN
Peter Evans is a thirty-two-year-old man working as an
air traffic controller at Boston’s Logan Airport, or should I say
overworking. His job, plus the stress of
his recent divorce, have him at his wits end.
Peter is taking his coffee break in the cafeteria when he is approached by a co-worker who
looks vaguely familiar. The co-worker is
one of those employees that every company has but no one takes notice of. A man who melts into the background at every
social event. Middle-aged, with that
telltale paunch around the waist, a receding hairline, and black horn-rimmed
glasses. What did his late Grandfather call these kind of people? Oh, yeah “strange ducks”.
He asks Peter if he can join him, and Peter invites
him to pull up a chair.
“I know”, said the man, turning his coffee cup around
in his hands, “that stress is the name of the game around here, but you look
terrible, if you don’t mind me saying so.
Frank Johnson is the name.”
Peter Evans responds “Evan,s but just call me Pete”’,
thinking he should know this guy. What the hell thinks Peter, it’s only coffee,
and he could use some company.
“OK Pete”, I might have just the thing for what ails
you”, said Johnson.
“Scotch in that coffee cup”, said Pete, without
cracking a smile?
“No, something better.
“Listen”, said Frank, “ there is an old hunting and fishing cabin a few
hours up the highway that has been in my family for years. I used to go up all the time with my wife and
three sons. It’s just sitting empty, and
you are welcome to use it if you choose.”
“Why would you do this for me?”, asked Pete. “We hardly know each other, and besides, my
exwife’s lawyer has all of my money.”
“Well, you’re in luck my friend. I am not asking for any money, and, like I
said, it’s just sitting empty anyway.
It’s the least I can do for a fellow worker. Besides, I had better warn you, it’s not
exactly the Hilton.”
“That’s very nice of you Frank, I could use a few days
away from this place, and that empty apartment of mine, but doesn’t your family
use it in the summer months?”, asked Pete.
“My wife and boys were killed in a boating accident
ten years ago” replied Frank with a faroff expression on his face.
“I’m sorry”, said Pete. “I didn’t intend to pry.”
“Don’t worry”, said Frank. “It’s ancient history. Besides, you know, life goes on. I’m remarried now.”
“Under those circumstances you’re on”, said Pete. “What have I got to lose?”
“Good, good.
Then it’s all settled . I will
print you out a map and drop it off at
your desk later today”, suggested Frank.
“Good hunting and fishing”, said Frank as he got up to leave.
“Well”, said Pete.
“I don’t hunt or fish, but I have a lot of reading to catch up on, and
it sounds like the solitude I could use right now.”
That Friday, with car packed, Pete made his way up the
highway with lots of time to think. No
phones, no text messages or emails ,also no boss standing over your shoulder
watching his every move. He had always
hated people watching his every move, from school teachers to the present.
After a few hours, and, according to the supplied map,
he was getting close to his destination. He decided to pull in at the
combination Gas Station, Restaurant and General Store for provisions. Pete chuckled to himself when he saw the
large sign, “Eat Here and Get Gas”. I
guess that’s New England humour at its best, thought Pete . An old man with a plaid shirt, blue jeans
with suspenders, a twoday growth of beard, and a thick New England twang,
approached the car’s window.
“What can I do you for?”, he asked.
“Fill it up while I get some groceries, and, by the
way, can you direct me to the old Johnson Cabin?”
“The Johnson Cabin?
What the hell do you want to go there for? The place is deserted.”
“For that very reason”, answered Pete.
“Suit yourself”, said the owner. “You city fellers are sure strange. I wouldn’t go anywhere near those woods, and
I’ve lived here all my life. I guess I
like my creature comforts too much to be out there roughing it”, concluded the
old man with a laugh.
“Is there a problem with the Johnson cabin?” asked
Pete, speaking to the lady behind the store counter with a note of concern in
his voice.
“Is that husband of mine telling people stories
again? He should stick to pumping gas
and keep his opinions to himself. Since
he started, it I might just as well finish it.
It was a local scandal at the time.
Johnson’s wife and three sons drowned.
They were identical triplets you know, losing her train of thought for a
moment. Well, anyway, after the accident
the police did an investigation. The row
boat was found in the middle of the lake, upside down. Poor Mrs. Johnson was lying face down in the
water. The police assumed that the boys
drowned also, but even after dragging the best part of the lake, no bodies were
ever found. The back of Mrs. Johnson’s head was fractured, but the autopsy
report said it must have happened when she fell and hit her head while pushing
the boat away from the dock. The boat tipped over and those poor
eightyearold boys drowned along with
their mother.
Well, to add insult to injury, a week later at the
funeral who is sitting proud as you please in the front row but Frank Johnson
with his young trophy girlfriend on his arm.”
“Trophy wife” I thought to myself, not realizing I had
said it out loud.
“What was that?, asked the proprietor.
“Oh nothing,
just thinking out loud”, I replied. “Is that why Frank has never
returned to the cabin?” I asked.
“He’s probably too ashamed to show his face around these
parts. Although he doesn’t seem to mind
other people staying there”, she replied.
“A lovely young couple stopped here and asked for directions just a few
months back. They must have enjoyed
themselves. Leastways they didn’t stop
back here to complain.”
Pete popped the trunk and stored his groceries, and a
bottle of scotch while the old man leaned against the gas pump watching.
At this point the old man’s wife pushed open the door
and yelled for him to come in and help her stock shelves and she told her
husband to quit bothering the customers.
“Lord knows we have so few of them”, she said.
Pete wheeled his car back onto the fourlane highway
with thoughts of the accident running through his mind. Losing your wife and three sons like that
would be enough to unbalance any man, but, then again, it was ten years ago,
and the airport wouldn’t hire him if he wasn’t alright would they?
The four lanes eventually turned to two, then to a
dirt path leading into the woods. He
finally came to an old weathered post with a crooked sign that read “The
Johnsons”. Pete pulled in and parked
next to a dilapidated cabin hidden almost entirely from view by a thick stand
of pine trees.
The cabin was surrounded by a large porch on three
sides, and was in a general state of disrepair.
Oh well thought Pete, I’ll only be here three or four
days anyway, and the price is right.
Pete tidied the place the best he could, poured
himself a drink and took his book to an old rocking chair in front of a picture
window with a great view of the lake.
The quiet of his unfamiliar surroundings was unsettling. He was, by no stretch of the imagination, an
outdoorsman, and the silence seemed deafening.
A thick carpet of dark clouds rolled in over the lake as
darkness overtook the evening, followed by a lightning storm. Spidery arms of lightning arched in all
directions giving Pete an unexpected light show. It began to rain heavily, and he decided to
go to bed.
Sometime in the night a strange sound woke him, and he
went into the cabin’s living room to see what it was. The rhythmic squeak of the rocking chair
greeted his ears as he strained to see in the darkness. The full moon cast a grey dim light
silhouetting the chair. As Pete got
closer he noticed the back of a lady’s head as she rocked. Her hair was matted in congealed blood, and
the entire chair sat in a pool of water on the floor.
As he approached, the chair’s slow rocking stopped,
and her head twisted right around on her body to stare at him. She rose from her seat and slowly started to
float towards him, her bony hands stuck out in front of her in a pleading
gesture, and, in a forward motion, dragged her feet along the wooden
floor. Her face was a hideous skeleton
mask, covered in tight, dark brown parchment skin. Her mouth, in a sardonic grin, was drawn back over rotting teeth. She had empty sockets where her eyes had once
been.
Pete screamed, and fell back into his bedroom, bolting
the door. The next morning, in the cold
reality of dawn, he was unsure whether he had dreamed the whole thing or
not. Probably that shop lady’s story, he
thought. He tried to put it out of his
mind, but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling . What if it wasn’t a dream?
The next day, Pete decided to go hiking and
investigate his new surroundings. After
a quarter of a mile, he came upon a small cave entrance. He went in and was assailed by a foul odour.
In the entrance was a bed of sorts made from the boughs of the local pine
trees. Further back, was a large pile of
bones. Some were small, and, most
likely, squirrels and other rodents. Some were big and unrecognizable. He turned to go and came face to face with a
teenage boy blocking the entrance. The
young man growled at him in an animal like sound coming from the pit of his
stomach, then lunged at Pete.
Pete found himself in a fight for his life. While
rolling on the cave floor, his assailant sank his teeth in Pete’s arm right to
the bone. In their struggle, Pete’s hand
came upon a small hunk of wood. He swung
it, hitting his attacker on the head, and knocking him unconscious.
Pete staggered through the woods back to the
cabin. It was already dusk outside. He took off his shirt, poured straight scotch
on the wound to disinfect it, and tore a spare shirt into strips to make a
bandage. Next he took a large drink to
kill the pain.
To himself, he wondered what had happened. The boy was more animal than human. Pete remembered learning about feral children
brought up in the wild by animals, but surely, those stories were just urban
legends, or an early explanation for insanity.
He knew one thing for sure, he had to last the night and make his escape
by car in the morning.
Pete found a tin of nails and a hammer in the shed
behind the house. He next broke up the
furniture for the wood to board up the door and windows. When he felt that the cabin was secure, he
built a huge fire in the fireplace so the boy could not enter by the
chimney. He grabbed the fireplace poker
for protection and settled in to await the dawn.
In the night he heard footsteps on the porch, and the
rattle of the doorknob but Pete kept the fire stoked. Finally he was rewarded with the first light
of the day.
Pete pried the boards off the front door and looked
around. He was in pain from the onset of
infection, and had lost a lot of blood.
With his poker in his good hand, he edged along the porch to the
car. He decided to drive to the gas
station and ask them to call the police and an ambulance. But, when Pete reached the car he found all
four tires slashed. He got behind the
wheel anyway and decided to drive the 10 miles to the highway on the rims, and
try to hitchhike to the station from there.
Pete turned the key in the ignition. Nothing happened. It was
then he noticed the hood had been pried open on one side. He pulled the lever under the dashboard, and
opened the hood all the way. The
ignition wiring had been ripped out.
He heard rustling noises coming from the woods and
quickly went back into the cabin resecuring the front door. He tried to think of a way out of this trap
he found himself in. After all, wasn’t
he the intelligent one in this predicament, and not some illiterate man/boy? The teenager may have once belonged to a
local farm, but then it dawned on Pete
that, considering the boy’s age, he wondered if the boy was one of
Johnson’s sons who had made it out of the lake after the accident and raised
himself.
The boy was not only wild, he was homicidal. What could have done that he wondered? Had he witnessed his father, the philandering
Frank Johnson, with the young girlfriend waiting in the wings, bludgeon his
mother and push the boat out into the lake to drown the boys? That would certainly be enough to unhinge
anyone, let alone an impressionable eightyearold.
Pete peered through the cracks in the boards covering
the window, and caught glimpses of the boy stalking around the treeline. In an instant, everything became perfectly
clear to Pete. The boy intended to kill him.
Then he remembered the bones. In
his hunger, Pete thought the boy had sunk to the lowest level of human
depravity. He had become cannibalistic. Pete disinfected his arm and rebandaged it,
but the infection had spread almost to his hand. Soon he would be too weak to do anything at
all, and would die from his wounds without antibiotics. Pete resolved that, if
he were to survive, he would have to kill the boy that night, and walk to the
highway while he still had strength to do so.
Pete devised a plan.
He had noticed a can of kerosene in the shed he could use to refill the
lamps, and he brought it into the cabin.
That night it began to storm again, with thunder and
lightening pounding the countryside.
Pete poured a large quantity of kerosene just inside the door on the
floor of the cabin. He pried the boards
off the door and opened it, just leaving the outside screen door closed. He pulled the rocking chair around to face
the entrance, and, with matches in hand, awaited the visitor he knew would
come.
Pete heard footsteps on the porch slowly approaching
the screen door. When the man beast
came crashing through the screen, Pete decided he would strike a match, kill
him with a sheet of fire, then make his escape through the back window. The footsteps came on slowly and, just before
the doorway, they stopped.
Come on you bastard, thought Pete, I have a big
surprise waiting for you.
There he was standing outside the door and studying
him like a spider before it pounces on a fly. Pete had to time this just right,
or he would go up in flames with the building.
The boy’s eyes flashed with rage and hatred. He charged through the door just as Pete
struck the match. It lit for a second
and fizzled out before he had a chance to throw it. Pete panicked, jumped from the rocking chair
and turned to run out the back way..
As he tried to escape, he came facetoface with the
two remaining feral triplets. Behind
them was an open trap door in the floor.
His last thought in this world was he hadn’t secured everything after
all. They all swarmed him like lions
bringing down a gazelle, and his screams could be heard echoing across the
lake.
Frank Johnson entered the cafeteria at work. He noticed the company’s newest employee, a
newlywed not used to the stress that went with the air traffic controller’s
job. Frank approached the young man and
sat down.
“You know, I have a solution to all of your problems”,
Frank said. “If you have a minute, let me tell you about my cabin in the
woods.”
By: John P.
Stoddart
Sunday, May 24, 2015
BOOK ORDERS
If you wish to order my books, please do so directly through me at email address:
john@johnstoddart.ca
At my request, my books will no longer be available on Amazon.
Thank you.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Coming very soon
My third book is about to go to print. A different one of my writing styles. A mix of Fiction and Non-Fiction stories, some humorous and some not.
I think you will really love this one.
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